04 June 2011

Royal Fashion Awards: The Epsom Derby

The Queen's horse was favored to win today at the Epsom Derby, and the whole family turned out to cheer her on. Didn't work out so well for Her Majesty, but it certainly came up roses for those of us more concerned with the fashion stakes than the racing results...

Biggest Surprise
The Duchess of Cambridge
Excuse me while I wipe my eyes and blink a few more times. Can it really be? Has the Duchess worn her hair...UP?! Miracles really do happen, kids.

Best Drapery
Princess Beatrice
Coming to us straight from the English Garden Collection of Laura Ashley's newest drapery fabric line...it's Beatrice! Continuing her botanical theme, she's topped the whole thing off with a...coral reef? Made of lace? And flowers? I don't know, if you aren't going to go full-on octopus, maybe you should just go home.

Best Fun
Princess Eugenie
This is just cute. Young, fun, appropriate - and a HAT! None of this ridiculous fascinator business! Add in extra points for those shoes on that grass (points are always added for bravery in the name of foot fashion, even when it dips a toe into stripper territory), and you've got one of my favorites, no question.

Best in Mystery
Princess Haya
Note to photographers: if someone warrants a cheek kiss from the Queen, said person is probably VIP enough to also warrant a photograph taken from the front. Until one such photo pops up, I'm seeing a flared sleeve and a fitted suit, and an excellent mystery.

Best Tinwoman
The Countess of Wessex
This strikes me as another play on the theme of her royal wedding outfit. Not that I'm saying that's a bad thing, but with this much metal, perhaps you should carry a purse in the shape of an oil can. Just in case.

Best in Typical
Queen Elizabeth
What can you say about this? Very typical QEII. Lovely, but typical. Perhaps she should have shaken it up a bit: her horse ended up in third place (in typical fashion - the Queen's horses have never won the Derby). Oh, the disappointment. Oh well, that's what gin and tonics are for.

Best in Show
The Gentlemen
Left to Right: the Duke of Edinburgh, the Duke of Cambridge, Prince Harry, the Duke of York, the Earl of Wessex
Top-hatted, tail-coated, prepared to burst into the show tune of your choice at any moment (well, maybe that just goes for Prince Harry): the gentlemen win the day. What can I say, the ladies love a serenade.

Who claims the top spot on your fashion race card for the Derby?

Photos: Mirror/Daily Mail/Getty Images/Dave M. Benett/Daylife/Reuters/AP Photo/Bauer Griffin/Zimbio/Tim Rooke/Rex Features/Isopix